About & Expertise
About Me
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I am a fully qualified Relational Counsellor (BACP, Level 6). I have completed 3 years psychotherapy training with the Welsh Psychotherapy Institute (WPI). I am an individual member of the British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP).
I have had 4 years experience as a practitioner, both on placement at Merthyr MIND and in private practice.
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To be honest, it never occurred to me to be a counsellor. Pre-pandemic I was happily running a busy cafe, MCing a comedy night and providing a meeting place for climate action groups.
One of my regulars, a psychologist, noticed people seemed to want to talk to me. I shrugged, wasn’t it just part of the job? Then the pandemic hit and it was no longer possible to run the premises and make money. My friend offered me a job at his organisation, as a trainee providing therapy to children and young people in care (13-17yo).
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Here I developed Life Story projects as a form of therapy with children. I have seen it to be especially beneficial in working with anxiety, trauma and identity. I have since developed Life Story projects with adults. Exploring stories and writing is a really creative and exciting way of working with the added benefit of making a lasting document of the work.
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I love comedy and have worked both on stage as an MC and run comedy workshops with children and young people. I have not yet met a person without a sense of humour. Possibly it is an innate feature of being a human being? Perhaps it's evolutionary, we need wit and a sense of the absurd to survive? I see how a well-timed joke can bring such joy and sudden lightness and laughing can feel so very good. Where possible, I encourage clients to bring their sense of humour to their situations and use comedy tools for increasing self-compassion and shifting perspectives.
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I run maternity projects. Starting in the later stages of pregnancy the mother-to-be explores her experiences of pregnancy and child birth and the nature of motherhood. I record and transcribe the sessions as a lasting record of a time that can be both utterly life changing and so easily forgotten. This work can be printed and bound and often includes photos/pictures.
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What is Counselling?
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Counselling is where you get to speak about your thoughts and feelings to someone who doesn’t judge you.
Counselling is an opportunity to face complicated or troubling feelings in the hope of gaining greater understanding of them and being able to manage them more effectively.
Counselling offers the possibility of getting to know yourself better, to make sense of thought and relationship patterns and ways of acting in the hope of shifting and changing if you wish to.
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Why Counselling?
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It could be any number of things presenting themselves …
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Love, sleep, drink, anxiety, children, climate, sexuality, grief, depression, money, partner, beliefs, break-up/divorce, death, existence itself...
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…or perhaps it’s not clear but you know, you instinctively know, things need addressing.
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Areas of Expertise
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Anxiety & Depression
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Break-up / Divorce
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Climate
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God / The nature of existence
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Grief
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Motherhood
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Sexuality, sex & sexual relationships
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​​​Anxiety & Depression: We scope out and explore the nature of your presenting issues, concerns, anxieties, including any obsessive compulsive processes, spiralling thoughts. Anxiety can manifest in many forms, for example around a particular person or practice, such as cleaning, eating, drinking, prayer, or the security of oneself or loved ones. We explore underlying causes. We reflect on depressive thought patterns and feelings, and look at developing and consolidating the sense of self and proactive ways of coping.
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Break-up / Divorce: We look at love, hate and the many feelings between. We look at guilt, shame and the practicalities of learning to live without the person you created a life with and possibly had children with. We reflect on the work of building from a new starting point in new ways.
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Climate: We have entered a time of climate breakdown, it has implications at every level of existence. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it causes many people great concern. What are we to do? What world will we leave to those who come after us? We can explore the myriad aspects of this subject in compassionate and creative ways.
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God / The nature of existence: I have had a lot of experience with those who struggle with overwhelming beliefs and religious fundamentalism. We can explore the transpersonal realms, archetypes, the nature of existence and ways of being. This can be a poetic and beautiful process.
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Grief: I’ve worked long term with those who have lost people suddenly. I've also worked with people who live with and support someone with life changing/threatening illness such as dementia or cancer. In our sessions, it has led to explorations of the big questions of existence and meaning and what it is to be a human being, what it is to love and to lose.
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Motherhood: I have worked extensively with women who are mothers. This tends to affect us deeply in many, different ways. Perhaps the child is adolescent and irritable, or they’re moving out, coming out, falling ill or have received a diagnosis for ADHD, autism or they are struggling with anorexia. Whatever part of the life cycle the child is in, there is usually much to process as a mother.
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Sexuality, sex & relationships: I have worked with those grappling with their sexuality and their sexual relationships. We look at how this affects them in the many aspects of their lives, including coming to terms with being queer and coming out.
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​I have also worked with people with ADHD, anorexia, autism, obesity, post-natal depression, PTSD, schizophrenia and suicidal ideation.
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I work with adults and teens.
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Summary
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In all my work with clients we consider how relational themes and patterns are affecting them in the here and now. We also consider trauma, shame and why things can go wrong and how to deal with and heal from them.
Counselling can also be about coming into awareness of feelings and parts of the self for the first time. This can be deeply challenging and difficult work, it can also be illuminating and lead to profound change.
Essentially, life can seem very different to what we thought it would be.
I believe counselling is a creative, compassionate and courageous way to work through whatever life is bringing us. I am also waaay better than AI. I know, I've checked.
Life Story Work
What is Life Story Work?
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Life Story Work is different to counselling. I use my skills as a counsellor and the therapeutic model of dialogue to capture your life story in dialogue form.
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This is usually 10 hour long sessions recorded and written up. For adults doing Life Story it is about 50-60,000 words and includes pictures and photographs. For children and young people the word count can be a lot less and may include more pictures/photos.
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We start by scoping out who and what the project is for. We look at the key people, places and themes and usually work chronologically.
Why do Life Story Work?
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Life Story Work can be very grounding and helpful with the matter of who we are and what life means to us.
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With older people, it is an opportunity for an all up. What have I done with my life? It is existential, a chance to reminisce. It is a powerful and imaginative way of facing changing mobility, capacity and mortality.
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With children and young people Life Story can be a useful way to reflect in a structured way about themselves, their families and peer relationships and how they are feeling, where therapy might feel too open-ended. Email me to find out more/book a first session.
The Maternity Project
​’Matrescence’ (coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in 1973) is the term describing the transition into motherhood. It encompasses the emotional, psychological, physical, social and identity changes a woman goes through in becoming a mother.
I run The Maternity Project especially for mothers-to-be and new mothers. Starting in the latter stages of the pregnancy, we look at nesting and anticipation and reflect on your experiences with pregnancy. Nausea? Rage? Joy? Confusion? What have you been experiencing? We look at your birth plan. Who will accompany you during labour and birth?
Later sessions address labour and birth. How was it? What about the pain? Can you describe it? Did things go to plan? Was it complicated? Was it traumatic?
We consider mental health throughout, how are you feeling? What are your concerns, wishes and fears? How are you coping? We are proactive about considering and signposting to additional support needed, for instance with antenatal and postnatal depression. We also consider the health of the growing life within, what are the risk factors to consider? Later sessions consider the many aspects of adapting to motherhood; routines, feeding, meeting other new mothers/parents. There are also sessions that focus on anticipating a return to work.
Essentially The Maternity Project is: What is the mother’s experience in your own words?
I record and transcribe sessions. This project is about laying down a record of this time, which can otherwise be hard to recall with the enormities of the change of bringing life into this world coupled with the sleeplessness.
At the end of the project our dialogue is printed and bound and can include photos and pictures. It is a tangible thing to keep, something to show for all the hard work!
Sessions start at £100.
The Project is flexible and unique to each mother depending on what you need. It is usually 8-10 sessions and runs for 12-18 months. We book 3 sessions in the latter stages of the pregnancy and between 5 and 7 afterwards. Email me to find out more/book a first session.
Teens
To you the teen...
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When I was a teenager I hated the term 'adolescence' and rolled my eyes when an adult called me 'adolescent.' How I described myself was my business. So first of all, it's important to me to get the words right here when addressing you the 'teenager.'
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The term 'teenager' could also be annoying. How about 'teen,' 'young person' or 'youth'? What a minefield! Essentially, we are talking about you, a person, moving from childhood to adulthood, a life transition that can be very turbulent.​
The word 'adolescence' first came into English usage from the Latin 'adolescere' meaning 'to grow up'/'mature' in the 15th Century. Then it was brought into focus as a distinct stage in human development between childhood and adulthood by someone called G. Stanley Hall in 1904. Hall suggested it is a time of 'storm and stress' i.e. emotional conflict, risk taking and identity formation.
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I have worked with teenagers, teens, young people, youths or adolescents (you decide on the term or email me with another please) since starting work as a therapist four years ago and with Powys Youth Justice Service (YJS) as a volunteer since 2007.
My Experience
Most of my experience has been around self-harm, eating disorders and sleep disturbance. I have also worked with young people with anxiety, existential concerns and confidence and self-esteem difficulties.
Self-doubt and self-consciousness can feel crippling. Relationships with parents/carers are shifting. Friendships can falter, it isn’t always clear who to trust. There can also be questions around sex, sexuality and relationships. It can be a time of experimentation with alcohol and drugs. There is also the digital dimension, navigating phone use and the many places and platforms it can take a person.
I have worked with young people who have received diagnoses of autism and ADHD.
I have worked with young people who have offended, offences include: shop-lifting, vandalism, joy-riding, cannabis possession/use.
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Let's face it, risky behaviour is almost by definition exhilarating. I don't want to get caught with my head to one side in 'well-meaning, middle aged woman mode' out of touch with the real life of teens trying to suggest joy-riding or smoking cannabis is only concerning behaviour. And I'm also not saying, 'Carry on! Brilliant, nick a car, take it for a spin!' I am saying I empathise. Of course it's fun, it wouldn't be compelling if it wasn't, right? Part of the emergence of the mature self is about testing things, trying out different ways of being. If you came to me because you've been shop lifting/nicking cars (delete as applicable) our first job would be to empathise with you and explore the impulse. We might then look at how to support you with ways to harness thrill seeking safely (and lawfully).
Benefits of counselling
A major benefit of counselling is I am not part of the drama that could be unfolding in school/college, at home and elsewhere.
My practice room is a safe place to offload, let off steam and explore.
The only time I must break confidentiality...
The only time that I do have to speak to another/others is if I am concerned you or someone you know are at immediate risk of self-harm or suicide.
Trust
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Basically the trust we build as part of our working connection is crucial to our work and it’s only in very extreme circumstances I would have to let someone know and you would be included in this process.
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Here are some questions & thoughts for parents/carers:
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Are you worried about your teenager? And unsure how to help them?
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Being a teen isn't easy...& sometimes it can all feel too much.
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Your teen can get back on track & counselling can help. But how? Counselling is place where a teen can explore themselves in a way they don't with a friend or parent/carer. They can start to identify their strengths; consider their priorities; name their fears; discover new solutions.
With greater understanding comes more opportunity to harness potential.
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Tricky questions/concerns:
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'But I should be able to help my teen myself!'
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Perhaps you are wondering what went wrong? Or that this is something you must 'fix.'
Part of normal adolescent brain development is a disengagement from – and sometimes a powerful rejection of – parental influence. This means that very often, parents are the last people teenagers are able to listen to.
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This is where counselling can be helpful. When your teen is able to talk to someone outside of their normal family and social circles, they can be more receptive to the possibility of change. They can start to think through new approaches to themselves and their own behaviours. And in the process, there’s also space for them to look at their relationship with you and other family members – and begin to soften and repair where appropriate.
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'How will I be involved in my teen’s counselling?'
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You will probably be quite involved in certain practical aspects of counselling, such as providing funding, and ensuring your teen can attend regularly.
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On the other hand, sessions will normally be held just between myself and your teen, and I don’t ‘report back’ to parents regarding what we talk about unless child protection issues are involved. It’s a very important part of counselling young people that they can rely on their sessions remaining confidential.
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However, I will ask you to join the beginning of our first session. This enables you to see the counselling environment and know who your child is talking to each week. And it’s a chance for you to describe how you see your child’s difficulties, and your own goals and expectations from counselling. Your teen and I can then take account of that in our work together.
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'My teen doesn't want to see a counsellor!'
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For many teenagers, few things are less appealing than talking to an adult! So it’s natural that your teen might approach the prospect of counselling with some reluctance.
One of the most important parts of working with teenagers is therefore to allow some initial time and space for building a relationship where they can trust that their views will be respected.
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Once your teen sees that counselling is a safe space for them to talk, then the focus can shift. Every living thing has a natural impulse to reach for connection and growth. Counselling for teens is essentially about engaging them in a process of learning about themselves, in a way that facilitates this natural movement towards positive change.
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As your teen begins to understand what ‘makes them tick’, they can start to better manage their own thoughts and emotions, and learn the skills they need for building successful relationships and coping independently in future.
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Next step?
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I know that when a young person gets the help they need to navigate their difficulties, it can give them a stable base for life. I generally work with older teens, from age 16 but I have worked with those as young as 13 and am open to enquires.
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If you live in or near Hereford, Brecon, Builth Wells, Kington or Presteigne then you’re probably less than 30 minutes from the Hay practice room. Email me to book a first session together.
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Ethics & Training
Ethics
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I am registered as a trainee with the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP), & applying for BACP membership now I am fully qualified.
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I abide by the Codes of Ethics of both UKCP and my training organisation WPI, including their confidentiality policy and General Data Protection Regulation guidance, as well as meeting their requirements for regular supervision by an experienced and accredited supervisor.
Training
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I am fully qualified with a Diploma in Relational Counselling - Level 6. I have had 3 years psychotherapy training with the Welsh Psychotherapy Institute (WPI), registered with The UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP).
I have had 3 years experience as a practitioner, both on placement at Merthyr MIND and in private practice.
Costs & Availability
Counselling
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Sessions last 1 hour and cost £55, meeting weekly or fortnightly.
I offer some discounted sessions for those in financial difficulties.
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When & Where:
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Monday: 9am-4pm online | 6pm-8pm at Castle Street, Hay
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Tuesday: 9am-5pm at Steeple House, Brecon
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Wednesday: 9am-5pm at Steeple House, Brecon
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Thursday: 2pm-8pm online
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Friday: 8:30am-4pm at Castle Street, Hay
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I recommend meeting weekly for at least the first 10 sessions. This helps to establish a strong working connection where you can start to experience the benefits. Once we are established, and depending on need, we can continue at this frequency or move to fortnightly.
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Life Story Work
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Life Story sessions take 3-6 months, meeting weekly/biweeky (allowing for holidays and postponements).
An initial hour to scope the work is £55. There are usually 9 hour-long sessions thereafter, at £100 per session. Each session is recorded and afterwards transcribed. I send each section of transcription to the client electronically and edit as needed.
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Once we have completed the work, we discuss if you would like it presented in book form.
Life Story sessions are one-to-one and usually in the practice room although they can also be online.
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The Maternity Project
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Sessions start at £100. We usually work over 12-18 months and book 8-10 sessions.
Contact & Locations
Mondays & Fridays:
Hay Counselling
16 Castle Street
Hay-on-Wye
Herefordshire HR3 5DF
Tuesdays & Wednesdays:
c/o Time Together Family Contact Centre, Steeple House
Brecon LD3 7DJ
Thursdays:
Online
07838 250 749